im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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