He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
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