Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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