Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
