I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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