just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
