his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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