btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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