jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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