3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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