I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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