if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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