i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
