So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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