he shaved USA in his pubs
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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