How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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