I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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