did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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