You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
