You really coming over, don't trick.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
