so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
