I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
