i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
