Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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