i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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