I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
