DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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