she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
