Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
