lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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