By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
