Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
