it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
