she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
