Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he shaved USA in his pubs
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Is Oprah even human
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
