i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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