I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize