Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
if only i could text you this smell
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
