Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
