this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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