I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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