If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
