okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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