i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
