Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
