Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
