she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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