no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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