I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
