Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
