eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
