Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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