what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
