If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
