you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
