like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
