What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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