There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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