As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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