You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
