I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Terrible idea I love it
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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