even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
